The irony of writing a blog post on neurodivergent burnout (ND burnout) while experiencing it myself is this: I love to write for this blog, but when I am burnt out, it feels like an overwhelming task.
First, let’s define neurotypical versus neurodiverse. A neurotypical brain (NT brain) is a brain that develops and works in ways that are considered typical or common for most people. This means a person generally learns, communicates, and processes information in ways that society expects. On the other hand, a neurodiverse brain (ND brain) is a brain that develops or works differently from what is considered typical. This includes natural variations like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. These differences are not problems to fix, but part of the normal range of how human brains can work. They often bring unique strengths, perspectives, and ways of learning.
Let us define what neurodivergent (ND) burnout is. The primary characteristics of autistic burnout are chronic exhaustion, loss of skills, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. The burnout is manifesting because of life stressors that added to the cumulative load they experienced, and barriers to support that created an inability to obtain relief from the load. These pressures caused expectations to outweigh abilities resulting in autistic burnout (Raymaker et al., 2020).
It is also important to understand that ND burnout is still wildly underresearched in comparison to clinical and occupational burnout experienced by neurotypical (NT) individuals. While burnout affects many individuals across varying neuro-types, both ND and NT, the focus of this post is to shed light on signs of ND burnout and potential solutions to try for your clients and even yourself when you need it.
For myself, ND burnout has been something I have experienced since before it had a name in my brain and before I even knew that I had ADHD myself. Looking back, the burnout was retroactively there and has affected me throughout different seasons of my life.
In college, I was a dedicated student who loved to learn. For that reason, I stayed on campus throughout the summer to complete a course that I had been eager to take called the Psychology of Creativity. However, what I did not catch before the course was that I was experiencing burnout as the year ended. When I pushed myself to complete the course, I felt like every single ounce of creativity and love for learning had drained out, leaving me feeling foggy, overwhelmed, and in a state of panic. I dropped the course and, as an ND over-achiever, I felt the guilt associated with this feeling of failure.
Then years into my career, I was doing what I loved: supporting ND students through high level crisis behaviors. However, something that I had been so confident in previously began to feel devastatingly overwhelming and I caught myself crying in the bathroom between crisis calls. Some days, I could not physically make it to work or I was having to leave mid day to try and triage my emotional dysregulation.
Through both of these events, I felt what I assume many ND individuals feel when they are experiencing burnout: embarrassment, shame, guilt, and the feeling I had lost myself in the process.
My hope is that other ND people can move away from feelings of shame and guilt, and recognize that ND burnout isn’t a personal failure, but rather a the result of an imbalance between life’s demands and the realistic capacity their brain has to manage them. There must be an understanding that being ND itself means your brain is likely already working in overdrive to maintain sensory, social, cognitive, and emotional functioning.
As clinicians, we can use this understanding to best support ourselves, ND clients, friends, family, and co-workers. This can start by understanding how ND burnout may present itself behaviorally.
Signs of Neurodivergent (ND) burnout:
- Change in skills or abilities: Many ND people experiencing burnout also experience a temporary loss in skills. Something that typically may be considerably easy for someone becomes nearly impossible for them when burnout is in the way.
- Think of all the times you’ve caught yourself thinking, “But they can usually do this.” Try reframing it as: “They can usually do this, but right now they can’t. Could this be burnout?”
- Loss of access to Executive Function: Executive function refers to the set of skills that help you plan, focus, remember, and manage tasks. When affected, simple daily tasks become much more difficult.
- Think of the times you’ve caught yourself thinking, “I’ve already said that 100 times.” Try reframing it as: “Typically they can do their unpacking routine by themselves—could this be a loss of executive function?”
- Reduced toleration of sensory, social, and emotional overload: Part of living with a ND brain is understanding just how overwhelming it can be to be a part of this loud, crowded, and often unpredictable world. Noises, smells, and specific triggers are difficult to manage, but often can be tolerable with the correct tools and supports. However when burnout is present those tools and supports still may not be enough.
- Think of the times you’ve caught yourself thinking, “They usually aren’t bothered by this.” Try reframing it as: “They may usually cope well with this, but right now the sensory, social, or emotional input is too overwhelming. Could this be burnout?”
- Loss of self-care capabilities: One of the most challenging things for a ND brain is learning how to care for yourself. Self-care tasks such as hygiene, healthy eating, exercise, and more are difficult as they require high levels of motivation and executive functioning. When burnout happens, self-care tasks are often the first that someone abandons. However, they are the tasks we need the most at this time. As a result, you continue pushing forward and you ignore your internal states begging for your attention!
- Think of the times you’ve caught yourself thinking, “if they would just exercise that would help.” Try reframing it as: “even though they usually like to exercise it seems really challenging for them right now. Could this be burnout?”
- Regulation challenges: We have already touched on how burnout can affect someone’s ability to regulate themselves and in turn this affects their ability to access once accessible coping skills. This often feels like a loss of control for the ND individual. This can lead to increases in meltdown behaviors, refusal behaviors, and other behaviors that interfere with daily functioning. This is where you might see more control seeking behaviors as those individuals are attempting to ground themselves in any way possible.
- Think of the times you caught yourself saying, “They’re being difficult or not trying.” Try reframing it as: “Their behavior may be a sign that they’ve lost access to their usual coping skills. Could this be burnout?”
- Self-isolation, loss of interest and social withdrawal: Similar to those who experience depression, ND burnout can turn your favorite activities into chores and make simple tasks feel impossible. Many individuals isolate themselves from others, not because they want to, but socializing requires far too much energy that has already been drained. Often the things that may help the most such as being around your support system and engaging in your favorite things feel daunting and draining.
- Think of the times you caught yourself saying “They don’t want to do anything.” Try reframing it as: “Maybe everything feels like too much for them right now.”
Strategies to Support ND Burnout:
Identify Safe Spaces and Safe People:
If you are experiencing the burnout: Find your community. Find the people you can be truly yourself around and make time with them. If you don’t have this then the internet (with caution) can be a helpful place to find it and to see you aren’t alone. You can start here:
If you want to support someone who is experiencing burnout: Be a safe person for them. When you spend time with them, refrain from over-correcting them or reprimanding them. Allow them time to be themselves without giving feedback on how they are behaving unless the behavior is dangerous. Give these individuals permission to take off the mask and be themselves.
Identify and Prepare for Triggers:
Before burnout happens, become very observant of what your, or someone else’s, triggers are. For example, look at what tasks are most difficult, which environments seem to cause the most distress, and which activities feel the most draining. Then use that information to prepare before coming into contact with the trigger.
For example, the night that my favorite TV show is on my wife now refers to as a “high stakes evening”. When the presidential address was to take place during it, she sent me the screenshot saying “do not worry your show will come back on”. How lucky am I to have this support!!
For others this can look like reminding them to bring their headphones to a crowded place, having a designated safe space at family parties, and anything that helps to prepare before something overwhelming or difficult happens.
Rest: The right kind of rest is important here. Each individual experiences rest in different ways. For some, rest might look like spending time with others, for others rest might look like being completely alone. Part of good rest for an ND person might include:
- Prioritizing Special Interests: An important and regulating component of being ND can be their connection and engagement with their special interests. Many ND’s experience hyperfixation when engaging with, talking about, or even thinking about their special interests. This time is valuable for them and can help with self-regulation. Special interests can support motivation because neurodivergent brains are often driven by strong personal interest and tend to focus on what feels naturally engaging. Any time spent fighting the motivation to engage with special interests is difficult. Re-engaging with those interests can help to offset that difficulty and provide more time for meaningful rest.
- Disclaimer: not all special interests are alike and some may seem “unusual” to you, however it’s important to let these individuals have these deep and meaningful connections as long as it’s safe to do so!
- Use Tools: Sensory and calming tools are a must to encourage rest and fight against burnout. Have preferred tools ready. This includes fidgets, headphones, special pictures, weighted animals, weighted anything, chew tools, etc. If it helps to regulate then it’s a tool!
- Let Stimming Be: Self-stimulatory behaviors—often called “stimming”—are repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that people use to regulate their sensory, emotional, or cognitive experience. This might include (but is nowhere near limited to this list):
- Repetitive movements (hand-flapping, rocking, tapping, pacing)
- Fidgeting with objects (spinning, clicking, squeezing)
- Vocal sounds (humming, repeating words or phrases)
- Sensory-focused actions (watching lights, touching textures)
A way to consider if stimming is helpful or hurtful is to look at how the person is interacting with their stimming behaviors. If they are showing signs of happiness or calmness, then that stimming behavior is helping to regulate them. On the other hand, if you notice stimming is happening more in some places than others, then that may be a sign they are attempting to regulate.
If someone is engaging in stimming that is not harmful, dangerous, or causing distress to the individual, then the stimming should be left alone to assist with regulation and engagement for that person. This is different from stimming that may cause harm or distress.
- Reduce the load: Life is overwhelming at baseline. Each day there are a myriad of triggers and difficulties that each individual is managing. When burnout happens, then even simple tasks can feel impossibly daunting. Sometimes just removing one expectation can be helpful. To support someone else, you can take one thing off their plate that you know is particularly draining for them.
Next Steps?
Next steps can be as big or small as you or the individual you are supporting can tackle at the moment. Small steps look like learning more about burnout, taking the burnout assessment below, and beginning to engage in these strategies on a daily basis to help prevent burnout. Sometimes this can look like scheduling a day where expectations are low and time spent with special interests is high.
Bigger steps might include consulting with your child’s care team or looking for help to address burnout within yourself!
If you are taking any steps to prevent, address, or support burnout then you are moving in the right direction! Celebrate the small steps toward rest and recovery because meaningful progress builds over time.
Let us help you be the best advocate for your child. Reach out at acclaimautism.com
For more reading on this topic, please check out the following resources:
Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). “Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew”: Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism in adulthood, 2(2), 132–143. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
The Problem with Masking ADHD and Autism (burnout, etc.) (5 minutes)
The Problem with Masking ADHD and Autism (burnout, etc.)
Ask an Autistic- What is Autistic Burnout? (10 minutes)
Ask an Autistic #3 – What is Autistic Burnout?
The Burnout Cycle High-Masking Autistics Can’t Escape (20 minutes)
The Burnout Cycle High-Masking Autistics Can’t Escape
Think you are experiencing burnout? Take this online assessment to see your risk level!
Burnout Assessment Tool, BAT online assessment: Burnout Assessment Tool, BAT
(This blog offers general educational information and is not medical advice. Always consult your child’s clinicians for individualized recommendations.)
